loved ones

In the mater of seconds all my friends who i love so much turn on me and hate me gluts. just over something stupid that happened. i made the worst mistake ever. i should have just kept it to my self. how can i get mad at my ex for liking another girl? why did i fall for him so hard? its not that i love him i think its just how he broke my heart over and over. i want him to be happy but........... he hurt me so bad. none of my friends believe me either. in their eyes he is not a jerk or anything he is just him. he tells my friends different things that actually happened. so all of my loved ones are pissed at me. he told one of my best guy friends that i cused him out because he likes one of my best friends. that wasn't how it was at all. is it wrong to be mad at him for crushing my heart and him treating me like crap? all my friends think so which makes me really mad. they should side with me they known me longer and my ex is a liar. he flirts with all the girls in our group and it just tears my heart out but i never let it bugged me. ugh how can all this happen in the matter of mins. i am only one person. everybody thinks i love to start drama and fights but to be honest i truly hate it.but it follows me every where. i am not the type of person who will just sit there when someone treats me like crap and says we are friends then ignores me. why should i have to be put through that? then after i yelled at him i felt bad and apologized and felt so bad. but no he didnt care he had to go tell one of our best friends and start drama and get me yelled at and lose one of my best friends that i known for two years now. schools going to suck more then ever now. i not going to be able to walk down the hall with out being yelled at. i am going to have to explain my self to everyone which i shouldnt have to it was between me and my ex. but no he had to open his mouth and tell everyone. instead of coming to talk to me he had to get everyone in to it. yeah i know he was probly scared and didnt want to talk to me but he needs to grow some balls and just do it and stop being alil baby. through all this i lost so many friends because of this jerk.

valentines day/singles awarness

valentines day is supose to be a happy day. full of love and romance. but is it really that great of a day. yeah its all fine and dandy if you have some one to share it with. but alot of people dont. they have to wall around school seeing all these couples sharing what valentines day is all about. huging, holding hands, and kissing. seeing this can break your heart you want to share this special day with the most amazing person ever. you see all the girls walking around with teddy bears and flower. and you have nothing. valentines is the worst holiday of the year. it ripes peoples hearts out and make them want that feeling of having someone special so much more then they do everyday. if couple have to have this one day to show that special person how much they feel about one another. then they shouldnt be together. they should be able to show how they feel everyday of the year. if you really look at what valentines day is it is the worst day ever. peoples hearts get broken and people break up. its just another day to make singles feel worst then all ready do.

when you are feeling alone like no one cares, read this cuz its absolutelt true

everynight, some thinks about you before they go to sleep.

at least fifteen people in this world love you.

the only reason someone would hate you is because they want to be just like you.

there are at least to people in this world that would die for you.

you mean the world to someone.

someone that you dont even know exists loves you.

when you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

when you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look.

always remember the compliments you've received.

forget the rude remarks.

why do we look for love

<3>

is it wanted to be wanted?

is it the way the one we fall for makes us feel special?

is it the emptyness we feel in our heart?

some people do it to feel want to feel important and loved

others do it to fill the empty whole in their heart.

but it dosent really why they look for love its the out come

love is hard to explain it is a feeling of happiness,

feeling both wanted and speacial

it is the feeling of you being safe with that person

so many people say they know what love is

but is there really away to know exactly what it is and how it feels

people just say it just to say it

some people mean it but most dont

they just say it because it sounds good

only a hand full of people know what it means

some people find it and if you loose it

it hurts so bad its like ripping out your heart

and driving a car over it

but after you loose it you just have to step back

and say to yourself you desever better

you have friends to make you happy

you dont need a guy to do that

one day you will find another guy

who will make you happy and make you laugh

but we shouldnt have to look for it

if it was ment to be it will happen<3

the best / worst relationship

the beginning of the year was going so good. tons of friends. friends who loved me and had so much fun with. i was getting over my ex. but one day every thing got better. the most amazing guy came into my life. he was funny, cute, and made me feel so special. we ended up going out it was one of the best months other then the amazing 8 months i was with my ex. everything was going so perfect. until one Friday, i had this really weird feeling that something was going on. he ended up not waiting for me after one of the classes we had. he always waited for me. well we had lunch right after and i could not find him at all. then one of my amazing friends had to go find him for me. cuz i was being retarded and crying. well that Saturday we broke up. the week after we broke up over alotof crap happen. he started playing with my heart. one min saying he loved me then the next say he never wanted to be with me. well i finally got tired of it and stopped being friends with that jerk. but i don't know what came over me but like an hour later i text him asking for him to forgive me. but lately i am getting sick and tired of all his games. i made the worst mistake ever by tell him he can come back to are group. everything hit me so hard. all the memories hit me so fast. (like being hit by a bus) bout a month later i was be stupid one day and told him a still have feeling for him. that was the stupidest mistake ever. he said" no, ash your so beautiful and funny there was a reason we broke up and there is some one out there better for you." that hurt so bad cuz it made me feel like crap and horrible. well later that week i figured out he lied to me bout why we broke up which made me so mad. well now he is taking my best friends to the dance next weekend which broke my heart. i got really pissed at kinda cursed him out and got everybody hating me. and this all happened in less then three months. how can one person mess up so many things in such a short amount of time?